To Love Adventure
by Sweetums128neo
Summary: A large threat is posed to the earth, and of course Dib tries to stop it along with the reluctant help of Zim. However everything goes wrong, and they are forced to travle back to Irk. How is Dib going to survive this adventure on his own? ZADR!
1. Nuclear?

A/N: Hello! First IZ fic, so be nice. :3 Uh…read below!

Summery: When a large problem is proposed to Dib, he has no other choice but to rely on Zim for help. Even though reluctantly the two team up, everything goes wrong and the twosome must take flight and go back to Irk. Zim doesn't mind, but Dib is being thrust into a whole different world. How the heck was he going to survive this adventure?

Pairing: ZimxDib

Pairings(to decide): ZimxGir, DibxGir, DibxGaz, ZimxGaz

Disclaimer: Don't own it don't care. xD

Warning: Male relationships, incest, and some swearing and sexual themes.

Rating: T (R in later chapters)

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Dib gave a sigh, stretching his form as he gazed up at his ceiling with blurry vision; sticky stars met his sight, glowing slightly in the dark of his room. Gold eyes blinked in a slow fashion, the drunkenness of sleep still coursing through him as his brain began trying to shake it off.

A sudden beep alerted him, and his eyes shot open before a hand flung out, blindly searching for his glasses on the bedside table. Fumbling with the lenses and shoving them onto his face roughly, he hastily swung his feet over the bed and moved over to the computer sitting among a mess of papers, books, and tabloids of different sorts. Sweeping a paper that had "BIG FOOT" printed across the top in large letters off the key board; he shook the mouse slightly to wake up the monitor, as he gave a shaky yawn. The monitor came on, a soft crackling noise present as it warmed up before it revealed the background of the young paranormalist's.

It was a picture of Zim, about to enter his lab. He had found those pictures so long ago that Dib thought to be lost. He was thankful that the pork rinds that had spilled all over his room smelled bad enough to make him clean it, thus finding that disk in the process. It was currently hidden away, because in all honesty he had nobody to show.

They cancelled "Mysterious Mysteries" for some unknown reason to Dib.

His father, as usual, could care less about pictures.

Gaz…well Gaz really didn't take her eyes off the screen of her newest Game Slave to really bother with anything, least of all Dib.

And of course, he was made fun of even worse at school that week after he had brought in the pictures, Zim contributing to the disaster of the pictures.

Even the Swollen Eyeball Network had refused to see the pictures, after all the other screw ups on Dib's part. They surprised themselves by keeping him a member.

Speaking of which…

Turning on his web cam, he straitened himself out and fixing his hair—there was no hope for the slick of hair sticking out of his head which was now almost as long as his father's—Dib did his best to look alert and awake.

There was a beep, and then a screen popped up asking for identification. Long ago had he changed his name to agent "Terrestrial Wings", but only after much pleading and promises of better material to show them. Reluctantly they agreed, and his new login name was official. His password was easy; "Invader Zim" without the spaces and capitals of course. He thought himself slightly clever to come up with such a title for the invading Irken. He wasn't a very good one so far, but…a monkey was still a monkey no matter how smart right?

Logging in, another screen popped up with a dark figure within the screen. Dib nodded.

"'Morning, Agent." Dib greeted, straitening himself out to watch the other carefully. The man nodded, skipping the greetings.

"Yes, yes. Straight to business however." Clearing his throat, he began again, "From several of our sources we've received some rather devastating news. They have said that there will be a nuclear war, on a world-wide scale." Dib gaped at the screen but the man continued. "They've provided us with pictures and live footage of our country plus several more preparing their bombs. The reason for the war is unknown, but our country apparently had reason to start it, causing more to fall behind. Nobody knows who the U.S. is aiming at. The bombs will cause much damage even if they're aiming not to hurt other countries around them, so the organization is aiming to stop it. All other agents have been told about this news, and you are the last to find out."

Dib opened his mouth, closed it, opened it once more then swallowed before saying, "And.." his voice cracked slightly and he cleared his throat again before continuing, "And when is this supposed to begin?"

"In about a month. It's a very small time span to do anything about it, but we'll all try our best. Hopefully the public won't have to know about the threat, unless we're sure we won't be able to keep it from happening." The agent gave a sigh, reaching a gloved hand to rub at his forehead. An odd moment for Dib; he rarely ever saw these people show any emotion at all. "It's been a rather stressful night…"

Dib nodded in agreement. It must have been one heck of a night. "So what can I do about it?" he asked, gold eyes peering at the screen as he waited for an answer.

"If you think you can get help, tell those you can trust. But only one at the most two people. No more. Otherwise word could get out and cause a lot of panic. Really I'm not sure what you can do, not really sure what _we _can do to stop it. We've got to try though." He replied honestly. The 16-year-old nodded, and the agent straitened again. "Well then. Signing off."

Dib gave a respectful nod of his head, before logging out. The window disappeared to reveal his desktop once again, as he turned off his own web cam. A nuclear war? What the heck…

Giving a soft groan of irritation and worry, he pushed away from his desk as he moved off the chair to go and ready himself for school. A nice hot shower would be pretty good right now. Opening his door, he grabbed some extra clothing and quickly disappeared into the bathroom. Pulling back the curtain, the cooled metal of the knob met his fingers as he twisted it to start spewing the desired temperature water. The water sputtered a little bit as it started coming out of the head, but a steady flow was soon present as the water heated up quickly.

Dib wasted no time, stripping down to jump into the shower, sighing at the warm water as he began waking up; he couldn't afford to let the warm water run for too long. His dad was always using up all the hot water for something, and Gaz would surely have his head if there wasn't enough water left for her. Weather it was Membrane's fault or Dib's, she would take it out on him.

The teen lathered up quickly, rinsing his body then the soap out of his hair. The shower didn't last long, they never did. Turning off the water, he grabbed another towel to dry his hair, before combing it out with his fingers so he could see. Wiping at the fogged mirror, he stared at his reflection.

Being 16 wasn't too bad. He had shot up around 12 years old, going from 4'6 to almost 6'7 now, the weight in his body distributing itself evenly, so now there was only a small layer of fat over his body. Muscles had begun to form in his arms and along his chest and in his legs; running all over the city chasing or being chased for four years could muscle anyone up, but most of the time they were hidden under the dark blue shirt with the light blue face that looked neither happy, sad, or indifferent. The mouth was replaced by a large "x" where the straight line had been in his earlier years. Black, baggy jeans pooled over the thick black boots he wore, and of course a rather large trench coat to replace the old. He still wore his glasses, he was blind otherwise, and even though he had that rather long piece of hair sticking out over his head, his hair had grown long and if not combed and tied back, would be loose all over the place which usually didn't do him any good.

Gaz had told him once that a lot of girls she talked with wouldn't mind dating him. If he wasn't so weird of course. He was handsome enough, it was always the paranormal interest that got them to think again then turn away. But Dib didn't mind. Most of the time he wouldn't have any free moments to spend with a girlfriend so it all worked out in his favor.

Giving another sigh, he dried himself off, pulling on his usual outfit for the day before brushing his hair—save for the longest piece—and pulling it into a pony tail at the base of his neck he moved out of the bathroom. Just in time too, as Gaz came moving out of her room, hair messed up and makeup running, looking like something that just crawled out of the ground.

Dib blinked at his younger sister, before edging past and bolting down stairs, the threat of, "There better be hot water!!" following him into the kitchen. Having a bad feeling of what was to come, he grabbed some toast, stuffing it into his mouth.

Grabbing his trench coat and throwing it on along with his backpack, he was lucky enough to step just outside the house when an ear-piercing scream met him, sending him sprinting down the street in fear of Gaz's wrath.

Dib had a feeling things were going to get _so_ much more interesting.


	2. Oh My God

**A/N**: I'm on a roll, I can't help that I wanna keep writing. x3 But. Nobody has reviewed yet. ;-; Oh well. If I keep writing, people will eventually come to read.

...Right? o.O"

**Summery**: When a large problem is proposed to Dib, he has no other choice but to rely on Zim for help. Even though reluctantly the two team up, everything goes wrong and the twosome must take flight and go back to Irk. Zim doesn't mind, but Dib is being thrust into a whole different world. How the heck was he going to survive this adventure?

**Pairing**: ZimxDib

**Pairings(to decide)**: ZimxGir, DibxGir, DibxGaz, ZimxGaz (Very minor, if any)

**Disclaimer**: -looks around then sighs- Still don't own it. ;-;

**Warning**: -pokes first chapter- XD

**Rating**: T (R in later chapters)

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Thank God Dib ran faster than Gaz could dress and hunt him down. He reached the skool shortly, panting and out of breath as he stumbled up the steps, arriving very early. In hi-skool, Dib usually found a place to sit in the cafeteria, away from most people. Today however, the cafeteria was full of people, as they all waited for classes to start. They didn't for another hour and a half.

It must have been Pizza day.

Giving an almighty sigh, Dib prepared himself for moving to a nice, quiet table in the back, through a not so nice crowd of cliques. Moving forward, he edged around the Jocks, watching his feet and the space around him so as not to get tripped. Making it pass, he could smell the strong perfume of the Cheerleaders table, as they sat around, there heads bent low as they giggled and whispered. Dib made the mistake of stopping to gaze at them, and simultaneously they looked up, sneering and glaring at him. Out of a natural habit, he pulled his collar of his jacket up a little more around his face, flushing slightly moving forward.

Only to trip over a "misplaced" foot, landing on the ground with a loud thud. A lot of students turned to watch, snickering or laughing. Giving a quite, nervous laugh Dib scrambled to his feet before pulling his collar around his face a little more, moving off carefully. He didn't' trip over anyone else's feet.

Dib passed by the nerds with there test tubes and when he stopped again to look, was shooed off by a girl with brown hair speaking rapidly and fluently in pig-latin. Giving her a skeptical look, he moved on.

Passing several more tables, he had to say that the oddest one pertained to a bunch of teenage girls gathered around piles of books and DVDs, while some spoke fluent Japanese, other watching and wishing aloud at how they wanted to do that too. Dib glanced at a shorter girl, with short blonde hair, dark green eyes, and glasses, and asked what that was all about. She glanced up, face flushing slightly as she put a hand over her mouth to try and compose herself. However she failed, before giggling madly and muttering about how cute he was. Dib blushed, scratching at the back of his head. Calming down, she explained happily that her and her friends were having a mini anime convention. It's what they did once a month on Pizza day.

Turning away, as the other girl roamed back to her "pack" he heard one of the girls say something in Japanese, before another translated quietly, before they all giggled and squealed, gazing past Dib, then to Dib again. Dib gazed forward as well, only to wish he hadn't.

They were squealing at Zim. Who was sitting at the only unoccupied table of the entire lunchroom. He looked to be brooding quietly, paying no mind to anyone else around him.

Damn him…

He had been forced to sit by/near Zim before but…

Double damn him…

Reluctantly he took a step forward, and he heard whispered encouragement from the others behind him. Bristling slightly in embarrassment, he took another step, before his feet and muscles fell into the pattern of walking, sitting, placing his bag down, then glaring at Zim. Still the Irken paid no mind and Dib gave a sigh. Looking away, he stared across the lunchroom, before glancing back at Zim.

Odd. He hadn't said anything yet. Inadvertently his thoughts traveled to the wig he was wearing. It wasn't that hideous elvis-style wig he had worn so religiously during middle-skool. It looked more natural. The color was a dark brown/black that was pin-straight falling in his eyes. If he had ears, he could very well tuck the pieces behind them. Occationally, the wig would twitch, indicating that Zim was getting uncomfortable with it already, and his antennas were wishing for release.

The subject of his hair led the other to begin thinking about the general appearence of Zim. Obviously when he came into hi-skool, he shot up just like any one else was supposed to, weather Zim thought he would or not was another issue. The Irken was about 6'5" threatening to rival Dib in height while in his disguse. The antenna added about six inches to his hight when standing errect. Only naturally he grew out of his Irken uniform, and had to find some other clothing before his Tallest could send him a new one. Right now he was wearing a long-sleeved white shirt, a solid red cotton button-up with short sleeves over it. To match the overall red of the outfit, he had found a pair of dark red tripp pants that jingled quietly now and again as chains clinked against the various bits of metal. And black shoes, the grey laces tied loose enough to slip on and off easily, tucked under the thick tounges. His Pak was still there as always, but the pink-ish bits on it were now a deep red to match most of his clothing, the base of his Pak no longer grey but pure white.

A loud bit of giggling pulled Dib out of his train of thoughts, as he looked over to the table of girls. They all waved, giggling loudly as they glanced between Zim and Dib. Dib could feel the heat creeping up his neck, as he realised that for the past ten minuets he had been staring at Zim. Probably looking rather brain-dead too. Scrubbing at his cheek--first one then the other--he tried willing the heat to go away, and after another five minuets or so it obliged quite reluctantly. Giving a low growl, Dib scooched closer to Zim. Zim finally glanced over at Dib, and making a disgusted sound, he scooched over a bit more, towards the end of the table.

"Hello, _Zim_." Dib said icily.

"Dib-stink." the Irken replied, smirking. Neither spoke a moment more, just glaring at each other, which was interrupted now and again by quiet giggling.

Dib spoke first, "So, Zim why are you so quiet today, hmm?" His voice was accusing, as he moved closer to inspect him better.

"Tch, as if that is _your_ business." he sneered. Giving an irritated look, Zim moved a bit farther to the edge of the table.

"Oh but it is!" Dib smirked. "I'm always on to you Zim, you can never hide anything from me. I'll _always find out._ No matter how hard you try to keep it from me, you'll never win! So what is it now Zim? Having more of your kind come to your aid? Finally figured out something that would accutally work?!" For the last time, Dib moved close, much closer than the last two, glaring and smirking at Zim. "_Well?_"

For the last time, Zim scowled as he moved, "Nonscence, I need no help to have this planet and you licking my shoes!" He then muttered once more, "If there's anything left of course..."

Uh-oh.

Gravity wasn't on Zim's side, as he pretty much fell off the edge of his seat, his arms flailing and reaching to grab onto whatever he could to keep himself upright. Which happened to be the front of Dib's trenchcoat.

Naturally the invisible force took no pity on either boy, as they both crashed to the ground, Dib landing on top of Zim in a tangled and painful state.

'Gah...can't breathe! I'm gonna kill Zim, I fell so hard I lost my breath!' Dib thought to himself, eyes screwed shut. He could feel a sort of wet warmth on his lips and wondered dully if he had split his or something.

There was a sudden loud squeal, and loud gasps accompanying insane giggling. Then the worst words to come out of a girl's mouth.

"OH MY GOD CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?! THEY ACCTUALLY KISSED I KNEW IT!!"

The world crashed around Dib. Eyes snapping open, they bore down into dark brown ones just as wide.

And. Their. Lips. Were. Touching.

Oh my God.

Violently, Zim pushed Dib off to the side as he rolled away. Shaking himself off, he made to get up, before a strong grip made itself clear that he was staying on the ground and was going to be dragged violently by the collar of his coat. And he was. Zim dragged the human teen off across the cafeteria, a furious look on his face as a hoard of--what Dib now liked to think of--fangirls and boys followed closely behind. Dib was shoved roughly into the men's bathroom, before the door was locked.

He looked up, catching a glimps of Zim; his face was red and he looked _very very_ angry. Shit.

And then all he saw was a green fist making contact with the side of his face, Dib stumbling back into the wall. The enraged Irken advanced on Dib, and even though the other was taller he shrunk slightly under the feirce gaze. Even with the contacts in, the dark red of his natural eyes shone through with his anger. Without saying anything, Zim made to punch Dib again.

"Zim wait! There's going to be a world-wide nuclear war!!" he cried out, turning his head away. This seemed to be enough for Zim to stop, getting distracted. Letting Dib go, he backed off a step, tilting his head and watching the human a moment more.

"So..." he began carefully, "You knew about this stupidity too?"

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A/N: Quick author's note. That blonde? That was me. X3 Now those of you reading this, which of you will freely admit you were hanging around and watching Zim and Dib, hoping something would happen? Truthfull reviews get you cookies and ZADR smut. :3 -waves fan comics and cookies temptingly- 8D


	3. Reluctant Partners

A/N: Hello. Third chapter here for you all! -will start writing the fourth and fifth- :3

Summery: When a large problem is proposed to Dib, he has no other choice but to rely on Zim for help. Even though reluctantly the two team up, everything goes wrong and the twosome must take flight and go back to Irk. Zim doesn't mind, but Dib is being thrust into a whole different world. How the heck was he going to survive this adventure?

Pairing (main): ZADR

Pairings: ZAGR, DAGR, ZAGR, DAGR, GAGR (any will be minor/one-sided)

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. I'd would've continued the season and finished the darn series if I did. T-T Which obviously I don't at the lack of eppies. -goes to emo corner-

Warning: See first chapter. XD -laughs at the people hitting the back button- :3

Rating: T (R in later chapters :3)

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Dib blinked, his turn to be surprised.

"You knew then too?" he asked, staring at Zim as he felt his cheek throb slightly, narrowing his eyes at the Irken.

Zim nodded, replying haughtily, "Of course, Dib-stink. Zim always learns the newest information from this puny planet."

Scratching at his uninjured cheek, Dib moved over to one of the grimy sinks and grabbed some paper towel, running it under the cool water before placing it on his face. That earned a wince as the cooled water met the throbbing and hot skin.

"Tch, sure didn't show that when we were in Middle Skool." Dib sneered, spitting into the sink; the running water washed away the blood, deluding it first then swishing into the drain. Zim faultered for a moment, but soon regained his composure. Dib gave a sigh, turning to Zim. He knew they had to do something, but they couldn't manage it on their own. He was going to hate himself for this…

"Why are you looking at me like that…?" Zim asked taking a step back. His eyes widened suddenly, his Pak producing the four infamous spider legs as Zim was hoisted into the air. "You're not going to attack my mouth again, are you?!"

Dib flushed heavily, closing his eyes and sighing. "No, that was called a kiss, and it was an accident. One I won't repeat." He approached Zim, the Irken glaring down at him before lowering himself to the ground, mechanical legs retreating.

"So what is it that you're thinking?" Zim asked in a wary but curious manner.

The paranormalist hesitated, gazing around as if what he was about to say would have him smited--and it just might--before replying, "I think that we…we need to team up."

Instead of bursting into an evil and uncontrollable laughing spree, Zim's gaze narrowed at him as he replied, "Is the Dib-human okay? Have you the brain-worms?"

Dib waved it off with the hand that wasn't holding the towel to his face, "No, no. I'm serious. If the earth is destroyed, I'll be destroyed. If the earth is destroyed, you'll have nothing to try and conquer." Zim stared, getting a bit confused.

"So the Dib-worm wishes for Zim to continue his world conquer?"

Dib held his supposedly large head in his hand, giving a soft groan. "Not really…yes…no wait…ahhh…" Giving a growl, he moved forward to shake Zim by a shoulder roughly. "Will you help or not?!" His hand was slapped away roughly, Zim glaring at the human before him.

The Irken gave a maniacal grin; Dib could tell the other was enjoying himself as he panicked slightly. Before he could stop his voice from leaving his mouth, he said quietly, "Please, Zim…" before his hand slapped over his mouth, looking to the other a bit fearfully.

That did it.

The Irken threw his head back, laughing loudly and insanely, before smirking at Dib. "Hmhmhmhmhm….well, since you did say please so much like a filthy human bit of slime and all…" Dib winced, and it wasn't from his cheek this time. "We shall work together. But no more than that. I can't have any of these earth-piggies finding out we're on…decent terms. So…"

Before Dib could react, Zim reared his hand back and landed a solid punch to the other side of his face, Dib stumbling back and hitting the wall with a loud thud.

"Good-bye for now, Dib-stink." Zim cackled, strutting out of the bathroom and into the hallway. Struggling to his feet after that rather tough punch, he stumbled to the sink to look at his reflection. Bruises were already forming on his face and Dib sighed then winced. Even that hurt. Turning the water on full-blast, he placed a wad of paper towel under the stream before putting it on his face. This was going to be a long and difficult partnership.

Dib didn't like that one bit.


	4. Pak Intervention

A/N: DAMN ME AND ROMANCE NOVELS! -is currently rereading "Can you keep a Secret?"- D: It's inspired me to write the fourth chapter. Gah. x.x

Summery: When a large problem is proposed to Dib, he has no other choice but to rely on Zim for help. Even though reluctantly the two of them team up, everything goes wrong and the twosome must take flight and go back to Irk. Zim doesn't mind, but Dib is being thrust into a whole different world. How the heck was he going to survive this adventure?

Pairing: ZimxDib

Pairings(to decide): ZimxGir, DibxGir, DibxGaz, ZimxGaz (Very minor, if any)

Disclaimer: It's being owned by Jhonen not me. ;A; Although I do own a paper I wrote about him for my art class. ;D

Warning: -throws some ZADR slash onto the first chapter, laughs watching as people go, realizing there is none, so they read the disclaimer instead- XDD

Rating: T (R in later chapters)

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For most of the afternoon, Dib pretty much skipped out on classes even though he knew he'd regret it desperately later. He spent his time under a set of stairs he so came to love when some of the jocks were after his, as they put it, "alien-raping hide". Nobody came here, seeing as how these stairs were located directly next to the teachers' lounge so he was safe. For now. Who knew if Zim would find Dib then trick the jocks into finding him and trying to beat the living crap outta him. Mostly the teen avoided such things, simply because of his speed. They were powerful and large, but...slow. The only reason he never quite beat Zim was because of the Irken's speed. Better than Dib's, but he was getting closer to start matching him.

Sighing quietly, he leaned against the wall as a few teachers and the occasional student marched up or down the stairway. It was dark and he wore dark clothing so he blended perfectly. It was lunch time now so nobody would miss him anyways, as he chewed on a grilled ham and cheese sandwich as quietly as he could. Every time he took a bite, the toast would crunch making Dib wince. He'd have to personally disassemble any and all things that could be used to make toast the next time he got a chance. Throwing the sandwich back into the bag none-to-quietly he pulled out a banana and pealed it, taking a bite off the end.

Yum. Still a bit under ripe, so it was firm. But ripe enough to be sweet. Yes. A nice, quiet banana. He finished that off quickly enough, before putting the peal into the bag. Gazing out from under the stairs, he deemed it safe enough and moved out to throw the trash away. So far, so good. He turned around, only to come face-to-face with Zim. Out of a habit of not wanting to be very close to the green-skinned teen, he took a step back before scowling at him.

"What the hell do you want Zim? I'm kinda busy right now…" he growled.

"Hmhmhmhmhmhm…I've found you finally!" Zim said, ignoring the question. He glanced behind himself at the stairwell. "Yes…you look rather busy. HIDING LIKE A FILTHY WORM BABY!!" He cackled insanely, and Dib's eyes widened before tackling him to the ground, both of them effectively sliding under the stairs. Pulling Zim underneath, he shoved him against the wall with a hand over his mouth.

"Shut the fuck up. You want everyone to come and find me?!" he hissed quietly at him, eyes narrowed. Zim returned the glare, wig sent slightly askew as an antenna poked out slightly. The Irken slapped the hand away, before fixing his wig pointedly, glaring at Dib the whole while. However the other ignored Zim completely, gazing out from under his hideaway as a small group of rather large people crept towards the stairs.

Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no…

"Shit…" Dib cursed to himself. Zim glanced at Dib, curious, before glancing from underneath the stairs as well. Eyeing the jocks who were laughing to themselves as they moved closer, he gazed back at Dib. The paranormalist was way more afraid of any damn jocks then Zim, the Irken noted, as a thick arm shot out, grabbing Dib and pulling him by the front of his shirt into the open.

Zim stifled a laugh, tempted to sit and watch. And for the moment he did.

"So. We finally found you. Took you long enough to show up." The guy that had grabbed Dib was far taller than himself, towering over his thin frame. He had nappy brown hair, and a beefy well…body. God was he scary. "We owe you your daily swirly. About twenty times though." Beady eyes narrowed. "You escaped way too many times so you've collected quiet a bit of debt. Time to pay up!"

Two other guys grabbed Dib roughly, holding him by the upper arms, effectively dangling him a few inches off the ground. The ring leader grinned manically, rearing his arm back to aim a punch at Dib's exposed stomach.

"W-wait! I thought I was getting swirlied twenty times!" Dib exclaimed, going paler than the normal color of his skin should allow. One of the lackeys holding Dib chuckled stupidly, grinning down at him.

"Nah, boss changed his mind. This'll be a lot more satisfying." He rumbled, lips curled back in an evil sort of way. "Boss" nodded, before swiftly punching Dib in the stomach. Dib arched into the punch, gold eyes going wide as a bit of saliva flew from his opened mouth a soft choking sound following.

Zim watched with amusement, trying very hard to ignore the loud whirring sound emitting from his Pak. He knew only he could hear it, but damnit it was getting irritating. Suddenly a voice said within his head, "Partner is being attacked. Help." Zim growled, continuing to ignore the voice as it kept repeating slowly and clearly the same line, as he watched the beefy male land a rather hard punch to Dib's stomach again. That made a giggle escape his throat, but was drowned out by the voice repeating itself a bit louder. Oh how he wanted to rip his Pak off and get the voice to stop talking. It wouldn't though. Not until the equation was corrected. There was an error, and Zim could fix it so his Pak would bug him until he did.

"Fine! I'll go help the stupid Dib-worm!" he growled to his Pak in Irken. Again, nobody could hear him, just his Pak, as he stooped from underneath the stairwell to approach the bully effectively punching Dib's lights out. He tapped him on the shoulder, and irritatedly he turned around only to have a fist connect with the side of his face roughly.

"Boss?" the two other males questioned, watching their leader twitch on the ground, groaning slightly. Zim approached the other two, eyes narrowed into slits.

"I suggest you step away from him unless you want that to be you as well." He growled in a menacing voice. They stared at Zim wide-eyed, before simultaneously letting go of Dib's arms. They moved forward, grabbing their friend, dragging him off down the hall in a panic. Dib was too out of breath to stand, as he fell forward. Reluctantly Zim caught him, dragging him under the stairwell to prop him against the wall. His Pak was still whirring and he had no clue why. He was going to rip his antennas off, before the voice said simply, "Make sure partner will live."

"Of course he'll live!" he snapped back at it in Irken.

"Make sure partner will live." It replied. It was a computer, there was no reasoning with it. Ready to tear his face off in aggravation, he kneeled in front of the slightly delirious Dib.

"Dib-human," Zim grunted, looking like he was going to kill his Pak. "Are you alright? You're going to live aren't you?" Dib gave a soft groan, before looking up and grinning a bit crookedly, reaching a shaky hand to fix his glasses slightly.

"Duh. I'm not dead and I don't plan on being dead any time soon…" he mumbled, taking quick sharp breaths as he rest a hand over his stomach.

Finally! The whirring stopped and the voice disappeared, so all was truly silent. Zim watched Dib for a while longer, until the other spoke up again. "Why the hell did you come to my rescue? I didn't want it, seriously…"

"Hah! I didn't help your hide of my own kindness or anything ridiculous like that. My Pak…when we agreed to be partners, your words triggered a program in my Pak that made it so that if you're in danger, it bugs me until I go help you. If the case is that I can't help you in any way or form, my Pak deems you dead and no longer my partner." Zim stated flatly, glaring at him. "So don't flatter yourself into thinking that I care about you to go and help of my own will. It's just a program that makes me do it."

Dib gave a shaky laugh, before a sick sort of look washed over his face. Despite his pain, he pushed past Zim and scrambled to his feet, before leaning over and retching into the can located in the hall.

A door swung open suddenly, a teacher poking his head out. "Both of you! Keep quiet out here or I'll send you both to the office! Now shush!" he growled, before withdrawing.

Zim could only stare at the door, wondering why Dib would want to save any of these people as more sickening splashes were heard, Dib's lunch hitting the bottom of the can.


	5. GIR?

A/N: Uwahaha. :3 I love my reviewers as little as they are. Thanks to those of you that keep reviewing. It means a lot to know that someone wants to read my story. Thanks guys:) Sorry this chapter is a bit late, my brother has been a complete bitch about the computer. XD

Summery: When a large problem is proposed to Dib, he has no other choice but to rely on Zim for help. Even though reluctantly the two of them team up, everything goes wrong and the twosome must take flight and go back to Irk. Zim doesn't mind, but Dib is being thrust into a whole different world. How the heck was he going to survive this adventure?

Pairing: ZADR

Pairings: ZAGR, DAGR, GAGR (Very minor, ZAGR and DAGR one-sided)

Disclaimer: I'm gonna step over a line and say that I own it!! -is shot multiple times, before Jane comes out and revives me-

Jane: Now, what were you saying? --;

Kyo(Me):Um…I don't own it! -runs away-

Jane: There you have it.

Warning: See first chapter. Warning for this chapter…o.O Implications and…ZAGR veeeery innocent and minor…:3

Rating: T (R in later chapters)

-------------------------------------------------

"What is it??"

"Gir it's…"

"What is it?!"

"GIR! It's…"

"WHAT IS IT?!?!"

Dib glared down at the small robot nestled comfortably on his bed, before glaring at the hole in his wall. Zim SERIOUSLY needed to teach that robot how to use the front door. The robot poked Dib rapidly, trying to get his attention. Dib moved a step back, grimacing at the brutal assault on his badly bruised tummy.

"What is it?" he repeated for a fourth time, indicating the bruised spots on his face and stomach.

"Bruises. It's what forms under your skin when you're bleeding inside but the blood doesn't come out." He replied. "Gir, what are you doing here anyways? Why aren't you with Zim?"

Large turquoise eyes blinked at the teen, before he replied happily, "Aww…somebody needs a huuug!" Promptly glomping Dib, he squeezed him roughly around his middle. Giving a pitiful yelp, he pried Gir off and held him at arms length.

"Gir, what the hell do you need?" he asked firmly, watching him with a stern gaze.

"Umm…" he said, tongue sticking out to help him remember. "Oh yeah. Mastah said that you're my Mastah too, Mary!"

"Ma…ster?" Dib asked in confusion. Gir giggled.

"No, no! You're _my _Mastah. I'm not _your _Mastah, silly!" Gir smiled, wiggling out of Dib's grip to lick his bruised cheek roughly. The rubber was not pleasant against the sensitive skin and Dib pried him off again.

"Gir, knock it off!" he growled, towering over him. Gir stopped, before his eyes and armor faded into a dark red color. His small hand came up to his forehead in a respectful salute towards Dib.

"Yes sir! Right away!" he said, voice deeper and more serious. Dib blinked, then smirked. This might be fun. However any and all ideas were squashed when he remembered he still needed Zim to save the planet. And also the fact that Gir's eyes snapped back to the bright turquoise color, as he sat and sang quietly to himself.

"Gir, why didn't you use the front door?" Dib asked with irritation and curiosity, sitting next to the robot.

"Mastah told me to make a mess of yer wall!" he replied in a cheery manner. Dib smacked his forehead, groaning as Gir squealed happily. The door slammed open, the door stop breaking and the handle lodging itself in Dib's wall. Gaz stormed in, and completely ignoring Gir, grabbed the front of Dib's coat and began shaking him violently.

"DAMNIT DIB WHERE IS IT?!? I SWEAR TO GOD IF IT'S NOT PAUSED…!!" Gaz growled menacingly, before speaking rapidly in a different language, Dib only assuming all words spoken were the nastiest ones she could think to say in foreign tongue.

"G-G-Ga-a-az!" he cried, Gaz stopping momentarily eyes wide open; they were gold just like Dib's, only dark and menacing. Cold.

Carefully taking her hands off of his coat, he glanced at Gir.

"Gir. Unlatch the front of your armor." He saw the little robot hesitate, before remembering he needed to be firm. "Now, Gir." This seemed to make sense to Gir, as he nodded enthusiastically. Unlatching the grey bit, the blue paneling fell forward. Dib leaned over, reaching a hand in carefully. Avoiding about seven bee stings, he finally pulled out a perfectly healthy-looking Game Slave 10000. Holding it out to his sister fearfully, she snatched it away and glared at the small robot.

Gir smiled happily, closing the hatch to keep the bees at bay. She fixed him with her best, "I'm-gonna-doom-you-until-Mrs.Bitters-couldn't-doom-you-any-more" stare, eyes blazing fiercely. He simply sat there, before tackling Gaz and latching to her waist cooing happily.

"Hug for yoooo!" he cried out in a shrill voice, giving a squeeze. Gaz promptly grabbed his antenna, pulling him off as if he was a piece of paper. He stared her down, before licking her cheek.

"OKAY! That's enough of thaaat!" Dib exclaimed quickly, snatching Gir from his younger sister and stuffing him into an inside pocket of his coat. The robot was small compared to the large pocket, only his eyes and up sticking out of the top.

"YAY! I'M POCKET LINT!" Gir exclaimed happily, wiggling to get comfortable.

"Gir, initiate sleep more. Only for about 20 minuets though. Earth time not Irk." Dib said quickly, scanning the schematics of Gir within his mind. Dib always found something useful lying around the upper floor of Zim's base, and once it had happened to be Gir's blueprints. The originals were in Irken, and it took him a good three months to decode the basics of it. Almost another four months to get tiny details. Zim found out and promptly destroyed the paper, assuming Dib had no more. Hah. He had an excellent memory, he didn't need paper to remember some simple machinery.

"Okie dokie!" he said, saluting once. A soft whirring was heard, before Gir's eyes blanked out, falling still in Dib's pocket. Almost immediately Dib buttoned up his coat, diving to the side as his sister made to pounce on him, itching to take the stupid robot apart.

"Dib keep that hunk of metal away from me or I'll take him apart and shove his VERY POINTY AND DANGEROUS parts in places you didn't even know existed. Got it?"

Dib nodded once, backing against his wall a bit further. Gaz snarled, before sticking her nose into the game again, slamming Dib's door. The 16-year old winced, before glaring at his coat. There was only a very small lump to indicate where Gir way currently resting. Giving a heavy sigh, he stood up, glaring at the hole before moving towards the door. Fingers flexed absently, each knuckle making a loud "Pop!" noise, Dib waited a moment and listened before deeming it safe to go out. Twisting the knob and peeking into the hallway, he was met with empty space.

He made it through the kitchen, then the front hall. Dib could see the T.V. going and Gaz playing her game in silence.

"I'm goin' out, be back later!" he called.

"Don't' expect me to save any bloaties if you come in late, Dib," came the cold reply.

It didn't take long for Dib to get to Zim's He only lived four blocks away. Knocking on the door, he waited giving a shiver. Those gnomes were watching him again.

He heard a growl, before Zim said through the door, handle jiggling, "GIR! Why are you back so soon?" The thick bit of wood swung backwards, revealing an irritated-looking Zim. His brow was furrowed, but shot up quickly in confusion, before slanting down in a smirk. "Hmhmhmhm…so Dib-worm, couldn't handle Gir?"

Dib pushed past, moving into the living room to stand, looking around. "I can handle Gir. He's not the problem. Gaz tearing Gir apart was the problem."

A fearful look flashed across the Irken's face, before reverting quickly to a calm look of indifference. "Hah. So? Not my problem. Gir is practically useless anyways."

Dib gave a knowing look, before opening his jacket and motioning to the small lump in the pocket. Gir was still asleep. "I told him to go into sleep-mode for 20 minuets Earth time. He should wake up in about 5 or so." Zim glared, but moved forward to retrieve the robot from the large space. Gir's eyes were blanked out, as were the rest of his normally glowing bits. The front paneling was dark, save for the numbers glowing bright orange, counting down until he was to awaken again. Sure enough it was at 4:50 and counting.

"Hmm…I see. And he actually listened to you?" Zim asked, clearly surprised that it worked.

"Yep. Why'd you do that anyways? You almost got Gir and I murdered by Gaz."

"Gir will listen to you now too. I needed to see if it would work. Apparently it did." He gazed at Gir before continuing. "But only on a certain level. If you order him to do anything that will harm my base or I, his program will reset and he'll attack you. So don't so anything stupid." Zim smirked at the disappointed look that befell Dib's face.

"And what if I decide that I'll reprogram him?" Dib challenged.

"He'll explode and kill everything within a fifty-mile radius." The Irken replied nonchalant. "That simple." Dib glared, but said nothing. Zim removed his wig suddenly, both antennas sticking up straight as he itched at his head with a free hand fiercely, growling in annoyance. "Damnit, I hate that thing. And these contacts too…" With that he peeled them off, throwing the offending pieces onto the couch.

"MASTAH I MISSED YOOOU!!"

Dib stifled a laugh, as the little robot awoke, tackling Zim to the ground. Zim flailed slightly, as Gir squeezed him roughly around the middle.

However both males froze, as Gir gave a happy purr. He then shot up, tackling the couch and chewing on one of the contacts contentedly.

"What did…?" Dib began, but Zim shot up cutting him off.

"He's been doing that almost since we got here. He does it because he tends to miss me and it makes him happy, just like when he hugs me. It's no big deal so leave it at that." Zim growled, glaring at Dib. Dib flinched, but shook it off. Whatever.

"Anyways I cam here to talk about Gir. But since I don't plan on going why not show me around your base?"

Zim glared, before moving forward and quickly plucking a hair from Dib's scythe. Dib gave a sharp gasp and a quiet "ow", as Zim said, "If you're going to be here, I need to be able to track you down if you decide to get lost." The Irken held up the piece of hair, and it was sucked into the ceiling. "Computer, analyze."

There was a heavy sigh, before a reply came, "Fine…gimme a sec…" There was a loud clank and such, before the computer spoke, "Name: Dibbers James Membrane. Age: 16 Earth years. Height: 6 foot 7 inches. Weight: 165 pounds. Strength: Speed and Stamina. Weakness: Anything alien-related. Hair color: Black. Eye color: Bright Gold. Eye sight: Poor without glasses. Length: 8 and a half inches. Orientation: N/A." Dib stared up at the ceiling, face flushing slightly as Zim stared at him.

"_What _exactly is 8 and a half?" Zim questioned, eyes flickering downward then back to Dib's face.

"My-my hair." Dib admitted quietly, running a hand over the black scythe sticking out of his head. (A/N: And WHAT exactly were the rest of you thinking, hm? Shame, shame! XD)

"Your hair huh?" Zim gave him a funny look, before he shook his head. "Come no. Stay close. If you wander too far the computer will tie you down and knock you out until I can com and deal with you. If that happens, hope to your God that you aren't awake when I get there."

Dib rolled his eyes, but moved a little closer to the Irken. Zim smirked, as the elevator came up and they both stepped onto the platform, letting themselves get carted downward into Zim's base.


	6. To Zim's Lab We Go!

A/N: Heh. This chapter brought to you by my Dad's laptop, while riding in the cab of a moving truck. 3 Gotta love modern technology huh? :)

Summery: When a large problem is proposed to Dib, he has no other choice but to rely on Zim for help. Even though reluctantly the two team up, everything goes wrong and the twosome must take flight and go back to Irk. Zim doesn't mind, but Dib is being thrust into a whole different world. How the heck was going to survive that adventure?

Pairing: ZADR

Pairings(Minor or One-sided): ZAGiR, GAGiR, DAGiR

Disclaimer: God owns it all. Meaning Jhonen and his ill-prone belly. His poor, poor, ill-prone belly! XD

Warning: Uh…-pokes first chapter- Warnings for this chapter are…talking about homosexuality. That's about it.

Rating: T (R in later chapters)

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The ride down was silent, as both looked away from the other trying to stay as close to their respected sides as best as they could without getting friction burn from the moving and unprotected wall.

However as they passed other levels of Zim's base, Dib couldn't help but stare in complete awe of, well, everything! He'd only ever gotten into lower levels by breaking in, and usually he had no time to stop and enjoy the scenery. Far too busy trying to keep his hide from getting fried.

"Yes, I know. Zim's technology amazes your puny ham-filled mind cavity. No need to tell Zim." He heard from almost directly behind himself, and Dib gave a shiver as he glared over his shoulder.

Zim's smirking face came into view, eyes shining in the odd lighting of the lift. That sent another shiver down Dib's spine as he tried to hide it by shrugging his shoulders and turning to face the haughty Irken.

"Yeah it's pretty good…for you anyways Zim." Dib replied, looking smug. Zim didn't seem fazed though, suddenly looking curious as he stepped forward. Dib took a small step back, almost hitting the moving wall as he mustered up an irritated look. "What the hell are you looking at?"

Zim didn't reply, taking advantage of the situation to move closer. If said Irken had a nose, it would've been touching Dib's by now; deep red and violet eyes peered into bright, honey-brown irises, as if trying to look into him to answer his question.

"Dib-worm, why again are you wearing these bits of glass on your face?" Zim asked, tilting his head slightly.

"U-uh…" he stammered, blinking rapidly, "They're called glasses Zim. I need them to see. Without them everything is pretty much blotches of colour." Dib tried leaning his head back a bit, but his scythe brushed against the wall as it yanked a few hairs out. He gave a sharp gasp, instinctively pulling forward only to bump foreheads with Zim.

Dib stared a moment, horrified at the heat in his face, trying to quell the sudden urges to touch the other's face. Zim stared back, looking curious still, before both heard a ding the doors sliding open.

Zim smirked, pulling away and walking out of the small space, calling over his shoulder to Dib to keep up with him. Realizing that Zim probably wasn't kidding when he told him that his computer would knock him flat on his ass, he jogged after his guide.

"This, Dib-worm, is one of the least important floors of my magnificent base." Zim announced, motioning around. It seemed to be a storage room, the ceiling reaching heights of a church cathedral. Bits of everything were piled high, almost reaching said ceiling. Dib stared.

"Well…if this is the least important why'd you show it to me?" he asked, tilting his head back so far he almost fell. Catching himself, he straightened out before running a hand to smooth out his scythe looking as cool as possible.

"Because stink monkey if I'm showing you around it's only fair to assume that I should save the best for last." He paused, buffing his claws on the cotton material of his shirt, "Come now, there is much more to do and little time to do it in. So move it!" Turning back abruptly, he marched over to the lift, hands held behind his back. Dib followed after, glancing around once more before standing next to Zim.

The rest of the afternoon and well into the evening went by with Zim showing Dib every floor of his base, only occasionally stopping to let Dib poke around and explore.

They had just gotten off the floor with rather live and dangerous experiments—that bright orange hamster almost ate Dib's leg and after a lot of beeping and whirring Zim stepped in to save him—and were now heading towards what Zim called the brain of the house.

As the door slid open, Zim stepped out signaling that Dib was to follow.

"Whoa…this is…pretty awesome…" the human mumbled in awe, looking around to take in the sights of the brightly lit room. It was round in shape, with the walls covered in many different panels and controls. Zim moved over to a large square, touching the corner; a screen popped up with a holographic-looking panel and keyboard, the letters in Irken with different symbols scattered across it all. Zim typed away at the keys, his fingers belting out lines and lines of Irken all at once. Dib couldn't catch any of the writing, it was moving far too fast. Not that he was anywhere near fluent enough in Irken to read anything more than simple words. He sure as hell couldn't speak it.

"This," Zim spoke up breaking Dib's badly-straying thoughts, "Is the main computer. Only Zim can work it."

"Why only you?" Dib asked, forking an eyebrow as he moved to stand next to Zim, expecting an answer along the lines of how it would accept only his DNA. Or something stupid like that…

"Because my computer is really stubborn and only listens to me. The damn thing is easily upset." He replied, letting his eyes move across the screen reading the information. Dib watched Zim, then lifted his eyes to try and read some of the Irken.

Giving up on that, he finally had a reply to Zim's claim, "Wow. That's pretty…gay."

Zim's antennas perked up, taking his eyes away from the screen to look at Dib curiously. "Gay? I recall that referring to a male being attracted to another male." He furrowed his brow. "My computer is but machinery. It can have no sexual preference, Dib-stink." Zim gave Dib a funny look. "You pig-smelliest are rather stupid…"

"No Zim, I meant when I said 'gay' that I was calling that stupid. It's slang." He replied, obviously not surprised at Zim's ignorance.

The Irken continued to look curious and thoughtful before asking with a true innocent air about the question, "So when the other pig-smellies at skool say, 'That Dib-kid is so gay!' they're actually calling you stupid?"

"What? The others at skool are calling me gay?" Without waiting for an answer, he gave a heavy sigh rubbing at the bridge of his nose, letting his glasses move with the movement. "Oh geeze, I mean I know it probably didn't look too good chasing you around with the sleep cuffs, but damnit I'm not gay…" Dib wandered a few steps away, gazing around trying to shake the feeling that he had already known this.

"So are you this 'gay'?" He provided the physical emphasis. "Are you gay for me as they say?" Zim snorted then looking rather full of himself. "I know Zim is hard to resist, but Dib-worm we are in a partnership and you are a filthy human. Please control yourself!"

Dib, as if on cue, flushed a healthy crimson colour, looking startled and disgruntled. "E-excuse me…? Why the hell would I like you? And doesn't that bother you that people think you're attracted to a male?"

Zim scoffed, eyeing Dib as if he was the most stupid thing in the world. "Because firstly I'm all mighty and awesome. Secondly, on Irk only the very tall are allowed to find someone to reproduce only ONE smeet with. It is programmed into their Paks at birth and activates when they are the required height. On another note everyone is born with 'male' and 'female' parts; weather we look 'male' or 'female' is completely and utterly random and up to the control brains. So to me if I had such a sex drive I wouldn't be looking at a stupid thing like gender, but a thing like height and their brains and such. Although I'd like to be the taller in the relationship of course." Zim puffed out his chest importantly, looking proud that he had retained this information he was given at birth.

Dib took a moment, standing there as he looked around trying to absorb this information. Deeming himself ready after a moment, he asked, "So...so why are the tall only allowed to…reproduce?"

"Tch. The taller the smarter. Why wouldn't one want their smeet to have a better amount of knowledge? However newborn smeets are still fitted with a Pak, because otherwise they just…don't live. Even if they were quite alive and well in the womb, if they're born and no Pak is atattached, they just don't live."

"So if they don't live, that means they die right? And how tall do you guys have to be to be able to…y'know." Dib questioned, moving back over to the Irken standing by.

"No. They just aren't alive. But they're not dead." Zim replied as if this was the most obvious thing ever. "And the required height is 8 nills. I measured myself last time I was on Irk, a few years ago and I counted for only 1 and a half nills." Antenna flickered as if this irritated him greatly, but said nothing as he looked smug. "I don't know how nills converts into your feet and inches. But I do know that I am 6'3" in your measurements." Dib nodded, still not quite getting it.

"Whatever you say Zim." He shrugged, moving to go back towards the elevator. Zim made to follow, before he heard a loud whirring emitting from his Pak. Ruby eyes glanced up, before he bolted forward pulling Dib backwards. A startled sound came from Dib's throat, the sudden movement causing him to fall onto Zim. Where the Membrane child had been standing before was now a large piece of metal that looked like it would have crushed Dib in a millisecond.

"GIR!" Zim roared, struggling to get out from underneath the dazed human. With inhuman strength, he vaulted Dib off towards the fifty-foot drop where the brain of the house hovered. A spider limb shot out, catching Dib and dragging him into the elevator behind a furious Zim, as his Pak stopped whirring. Thank The Tallest.

As soon as the elevator doors opened, Zim stalked forward tackling a squealing Gir to the ground as he ignored the other occupant in the room. Dib however shrank back slightly as his younger sister stared at him with closed eyes.

"This thing," she motioned to the malfunctioning SIR unit gnawing on Zim's lekku, "wouldn't tell me how to get into the lab. So I had to sit and wait. Anyways, you have to come home, Dib. Now." Her eyes opened very slightly, a flash of dark gold before they closed and she hopped off the couch.

"Hmm?" Zim said, looking up as he tightened the knot on his hogtie on Gir. "Your parental units summon you?"

"Yeah Zim, I've gotta go." Dib stood there a moment, looking around before giving an awkward wave hightailing it out the door towards his sister.


End file.
